It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal

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Phil and Lem are at odds with one another when a mysterious red lab coat appears in their lockers, prompting them to fight over who has the right to stand out; meanwhile, Ted earns Veronica's ire when he gives relationship advice to her boyfriend.

Previous: Battle of the Bulbs

Veridian Dynamics has found that, in the past, making a small change to the work space can result in drastic increases in productivity. Whether the employees are motivated through fear or joy is largely unimportant provided the company sees an increase in profits.

At the top of the episode Lem (Malcolm Barrett) is feeling nervous because his white lab coat has been swapped out for a red one, making him worry that he's being singled out for a reason, while Phil (Jonathan Slavin) is slightly upset thinking that it's to elevate him above the rest of the scientists. Eventually Ted (Jay Harrington) is able to convince him to think of the red coat as an honor for having done such good work, but this only causes Phil to feel as though his work has been sub par, as though he's being penalized because the company hasn't realized just how much effort he's put into his projects. Their determination to earn the coat soon results in them both working harder to ensure that it's left in their locker the next morning, despite the fact that there are no perks to wearing the coat beyond having a different colored coat.

Veronica (Portia de Rossi) reveals to Ted that the red lab coat was planted in Lem's locker as an experiment to convince everyone to work more efficiently, and the result, indeed, is that all the scientists are now working their hardest in order to earn the right to wear it. After an escalating series of arguments over the coat brings Phil and Lem to Ted in complaint, Ted tells them that the coat's not a reward for doing something good, in turn leading them to believe that it's a punishment for doing something bad, "like a scarlet letter, except it covers the whole body in shame." The company's genius is on full display in this scenario, as the scientists put forward their best efforts in order to earn the coat, and in learning that it wasn't a reward, but possibly a punishment, they work even harder in order to avoid being given the shame of wearing the coat. In the end, no matter what the employees believe, the company is getting the best results out of them that they can, and it's just another display of how Veridian is focused solely on profits without concerning itself with the people working in the trenches.

Despite having mellowed in the previous season due to her relationship with Mordor (Mark Deklin), Veronica is here shown being so exhausted by their romance that she's too distracted to function properly at work. Ted confronts Mordor, telling him that he needs to have less sex with Veronica so that she can maintain her productivity, leading him instead to begin having affairs with other women in the office in an effort to wean himself off of his interest in Veronica. Eventually Veronica ends up hurting Mordor, which he then starts using as an excuse to have more affairs, claiming that her shooting him reset their relationship after his first affair, making it okay for him to keep cheating on her provided he's willing to let her hurt him again, "because [he] like[s] promiscuous sex far more than [he] dislike[s] pain." It's just not that funny a set up to begin with, and given how taken he's been with her since "Secrets and Lives," it seems like nothing more than a way for the writers to force an end to Veronica's off-screen romance.

After learning that he had cheated on her, Veronica ends up shooting Mordor with a spear gun, and whether it's accidental or not it's played completely for laughs. Given the fact that he very likely could have died horribly, it seems distasteful for Veronica to justify her actions against his affair. In one moment she takes full blame for his injury, then quickly does an about face to blame him for his own predicament, and it just doesn't work. Veronica is the kind of person that would own up to her mistakes, state that it was an unfortunate accident, and admit that she's not sorry it happened, but she would never cast the blame aside in this manner.

The bulk of the cast gives fine performances here, though most are unable to shine given the material they have at hand. Both Barrett and Slavin play off of one another incredibly well, and Deklin is great as the womanizing magician. Bill Stevenson, playing scientist Lonny, gives a lackluster effort as he mutters through his lines, almost as though he were simply pulled off the street when the scheduled actor failed to show up for work.

Directed by Marc Buckland, this story is largely boring, dragging on in places when it should instead be invigorated by Ted's voice over, but instead feeling partially empty in it's absence. Veronica falling asleep with her eyes open is a nice moment, made better as Ted and Linda (Andrea Anders) debate whether she's purring or growling, and the visual gag of Ted being sent to the "ridiculously tiny office" as punishment is also quite amusing, but it doesn't elevate this episode to the point that it's all that enjoyable.

Victor Fresco pens this script without much of the flavor of his previous outings, focused partially on Ted's desire to separate his personal life from his professional life, and the reasons why he feels the need to do so. While Ted frequently states that he won't get involved in Veronica's personal life, he does, indeed, find himself caught up in things, though why he can't let himself get together with Linda still remains to be seen.

Veronica's relationship with Mordor comes to an end here, likely reverting her to the hard-as-nails boss she was at the beginning of the series. Ted and Linda also seem to be drifting further away from realizing a romance, though that may simply be a function of poor writing here.

Next: The Great Repression